if h.p. lovecraft wrote descriptions for chocolates

from mcsweeney's 'Selections From H.P. Lovecraft's Brief Tenure as a Whitman's Sampler Copywriter':

White Chocolate Truffle

What black arts could have stripped this chocolate of its natural hue? The horror of the unearthly, corpselike pallor of this truffle's complexion is only offset by its fiendish deliciousness.

Toffee Nugget

Few men dare ask the question "What is toffee, exactly?" All those who have investigated this substance are now either dead or insane.

link (via poor mojo newswire)